Falcon Takes Flight

This is a real sequence of events.
1. These people name their child Falcon.
2. They are on Wife Swap twice.
3. They build a giant balloon that a person could be taken away in.
4. The balloon and Falcon disappear.
5. News frenzy everywhere trying to save this child.
6. Turns out the child is hiding in their attic.
7. They are featured on the Today show where Falcon proceeds to vomit to millions nationwide.

As my Jojo puts it "Falcon is the coolest kid ever! He's taken over all of America!"